Untouched
by Lorelei Candice Black
Summary: PART 1 of a three part story. Bella wonders if she'll really be happy with Edward without physical contact and staying human while he's eternally young. She makes decisions, she sets the path for a new future. Try it please.


**_Untouched_**

 _Twilight_

 _Set between book 1 and 2, during the summer._

 _Bella's POV_

 _Edward is present at the beginning but you won't see what he says, just Bella's reaction to it. It's a choice I made, mainly because his exact words at that moment don't matter, just that he won't give Bella what she wants. And yes, I know that later Charlie will speak and you'll see what he says. It's the way i chose to write it. Accept it or don't read it._

 _This will be a small series. The next one will be called Unbroken and will be a cross-over with The Vampire Diaries. the third one will be called Unclaimed._

* * *

I can't believe we're having this argument, again. How can Edward even think I'd ever be happy staying human and growing old while he stays the same? Was this all I deserved? A future with a vampire that refused to change me? A future where the only physical contact I had with the one I loved was to hold hands and a soft brush of the lips once in a while?

Never having sex, never making out... A nun's life without the prayers and soul saving.

He knows that it's not what I want, that I want to be like him, to be with him, completely. You can't want to be with someone forever unless you live forever, right? So how can he claim to truly love me if he doesn't want to be with me forever?

Oh, here he goes again with his patronizing tone. He always does that, can't he see how upset I am and how much it hurts that it amuses him to see me angry? Good, now he's leaving to go hunting for the week-end. Gives me time to calm down and think by myself.

Why is he so sure that he knows what's best for me? Is it because he's older? The fact that he claims to be completely fine without real kisses or sex is one thing but how can he impose that on me? When you love someone, it's natural to want to be with them physically, right?

Maybe he doesn't really love me. Maybe he doesn't care for me as much as he claims to care. Maybe he's just using me as a distraction, a phase in his eternal existence.

Should I really let him control my life like this? I mean, if he doesn't want to turn me, maybe I should cut my losses and break up with him before I attach myself anymore and it hurts too much.

Just the thought of doing it hurts like hell but wouldn't it be better for me? Of course not. I'd have to see him everyday and I'd end up going back to him. I'd have to leave Forks but to go where? With Renee and Phil in Jacksonville? Where else?

Sometimes, it sucks not to have a lot of family all over the place, it could be useful right about now.

What if I stayed? Would I be happy as a 70 years old human virgin dating an eternally 17 year old vampire?

Of course not. I'd hate myself and I'd end up hating or resenting him as well. Maybe even his entire family.

Was it wrong of me to want to be touched? To feel a man's desire as he loved me? I don't think it is.

"Everything okay Bells?" It was Charlie.

Of course he'd choose now to be worried about me.

"Yes, of course." I lied.

"All right. It's just... You look... Pensive. Like something's wrong." he insisted and I wanted more than anything to tell him the truth.

"I'm just trying to make the right decision, that's all." Here.

Not a complete lie, but not really the truth either.

"About Edward?"

How could he possibly know? Am I really that much of an open book, even to him?

"How do you know?" I asked him, surprised and curious.

"I dunno. I just do. Just, do what you need to do to be happy Bells. Not only now but later too. Think about the long run, that's what's important." he advised me.

Who knew that he could be so wise. Must be all the time he's spending with the elders of La Push.

"What if, in order to do that, I'd need to leave for a while?"

"Like, go back to live with your mother?" He asked me.

"I don't think I'd like that much but since it's the only solution..." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Listen Bells, your cast was just taken off and you have a little over a month of summer left ahead of you, why don't you simply use that to travel a bit, get away from here until it's time to go back to school and see how you feel? You shouldn't rush your decisions anyway. Take the time off to think everything over." He suggested and I couldn't help but be impressed.

This was really good advice.

"But mom and Phil won't be home until September." I reminded him.

"I have a friend who lives in Virginia, in a small town named Mystic Fall's. She has a daughter who's about your age too. You could go and stay with her for a few weeks."

"How do you know she'll agree?"

"I helped her out a while back, she owes me."

"And my second question is how do you even know anyone all the way in Virginia?" I asked him, curious.

"Oh, it was a while back, when I tried online dating. It didn't work out but we stayed friends. She's the sheriff in her town. I'm sure you'll like it, it's pretty sunny." he explained.

Charlie tried online dating? I'm not sure I wanted to know this but I'm still excited about this offer.

"I... I think I'd like that. How soon can I go?" I asked him.

"I'll call her right away, you'll be able to leave tomorrow if you want. We'll book you a plane ticket tonight. But you can't just leave like that, you need to warn Edward Bells." he reminded me.

"I know. Don't worry, he'll know soon."

Of course I knew that he already knew. Alice had seen it and had told him of my decision to leave for a few weeks. Would she have been able to see the reason behind my leaving or not? I hoped he wouldn't try to stop me, that would completely ruin any feelings I have left for him.

.

The next morning, my bags were already packed and my airplane ticket was bought. Charlie's friend, Liz, was happy to have me and her daughter was eager to show me the town and all it had to offer. Before I left, I still needed to go to the Cullen's and say goodbye, especially since it was a sunny day and, even if Alice had seen it, they wouldn't be able to come and see me.

"I'll be back in time to leave for the airport dad, I'm going to the Cullen's." I called out.

Charlie was sitting in front of the TV, watching some fishing show.

"Sure." He replied, only half paying attention to me.

When I parked in front of the large house I had spent most of my first half of summer in, I was nervous. I hoped Edward wouldn't try to stop me, to keep me here.

"Bella, are you sure about this? I don't like it." Alice said as soon as I opened the door of my trusty old truck.

"I'm sure that I need time away to think about things Alice. I can't go on like this." I replied, knowing fully well that everyone was hearing me.

"What is there to think about?" She asked me and I was incredulous.

Did she really not understand why I would want to think about everything? I know that she's having sex with Jasper because she told me so. Why can't she understand that I'd want it too?

"Really? Are you asking me because you don't understand my reasons or because you don't know what they are?" I asked her.

"Can't you make a little concession for him? That's what being a couple is all about you know." Alice insisted, letting me know that she knew fully well what my reasons were.

"A little concession? Come on Alice, even you have to understand! I don't want to end up as a 70 years old virgin who's dating an eternally 17 years old vampire and we both know that this is where we're heading right now. I know you understand and that you agree with me so what is this about?" I explained, a bit exasperated.

"This town you're going to, I can't see it well. All I know is that it's full of supernatural. Real werewolves, the other sort of vampires and even witches... I won't be able to watch out for you." She admitted.

"Really? Well, don't worry, I'll be fine. Can you see me come back?" I asked her, hiding that the possibility of never coming back was making me nervous.

"I do, but I can't see if it's temporary or permanent. It's all blurry."

"Alice, don't worry, no matter what happens next for me and between me and your brother, I'll stay in touch with you. We're best friends, nothing is going to change that." I promised her and I knew that she was finally supporting my decision.

"No! Alice you're supposed to be on my side!" Edward snapped, suddenly by our side.

He was soon followed by the rest of his family and I could see that Rosalee, Carlisle and Esmee were supporting me. Emmett seemed happy enough but Jasper's feeling on the issue couldn't be seen on his face, he was feeling everyone's emotions and it had to be hard for him. I almost felt bad for him. Edward was obviously angry with my decision but then again, when was he ever happy about a decision that I made on my own?

"So, I'm guessing Alice told you. I came to say goodbye." I announced, looking at Edward but addressing everyone.

"We completely understand Bella and we all hope that you'll have a good time." Esmee replied with her usual kind smile.

"Edward..." I was looking for something to tell him but he cut me off:

"How can you do that to me, to us? I thought you loved me?"

I can't believe he's playing this card!

"Of course I love you Edward but you have to understand that the future you try to impose on me isn't what I want. I need time to think about everything. To think about..."

Once more he cut me off:

"Us? You need to think about us? To decide if you'll leave me or not?" he asked me.

"Yes, Edward, I need to think about what will make me the happiest in the long run, not only now." I insisted, trying to show him with my eyes how much I still loved him.

"Bella..."

Edward was about to say more but he was cut off by Rosalie.

"Oh come on Edward, she's doing the right thing, she's taking the time to think before she acts."

"You're just saying that because you don't like her!" Edward snapped and I looked down.

"You know perfectly well that's not true. I just disagree with her want to become a vampire while she has what I want most: humanity and the ability to have children. I also understand why she'd want to turn. What I don't understand is why you refuse her the other thing she wants: physical contact and sex. We both know that it can be done without harming her." Rosalee and Edward both looked ready to fight and I was glad when Emmett and Carlisle went to separate them.

"Edward, please." I begged him.

I didn't need to say more, he knew what I was begging for: either he gave me what I wanted, or he let me go for a few weeks.

"Fine, be stubborn and leave if that's what you want. I'll still be here when you come back but I'll warn you right away Bella: I won't change my mind. You can ask Alice."

Edward's cold tone shocked me and hurt a little, especially since Alice nodded, assuring me that Edward was telling the truth and wouldn't change his mind.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Edward. I'll miss you all. I'll call Alice's phone once I'm settled." I replied, trying to hide just how much Edward was hurting me.

Apparently, I managed to hide it from everyone but Jasper who looked at me with sympathy.

"Please do and be safe Bella." Esmee told me before she hugged me goodbye.

"Call if you need us." Carlisle added.

"I will, thanks."

Emmett was next to hug me goodbye and I felt him slip something tick in my pocket while he whispered very low in my ear:

"For you to have fun, think of me while you use it."

I'd discover later that it was money that he slipped in my pocket. What was for him just some fun money was actually 20.000 dollars.

I was surprised when Rosalie hugged me next, congratulating me on keeping a strong mind and on making my own decisions. She made me promise to think about every single one of my options before I made my decision and I did, happy to know that she approved of my idea.

Jasper didn't hug me and I understood why, he simply nodded with a smile and I did the same before Alice hugged me close to her, promising me to warn me anytime she saw something about me and my future in the next few weeks.

"Oh and don't worry Bella, even if there are some of the other vampires back there, they won't be able to compel you and they won't even try to feed on you. Your father's friend's daughter will protect you, she's trustworthy." Alice added at the last minute.

"Edward?" I asked, wanted to say goodbye to him properly.

"Goodbye Bella. Be safe and come back soon." he told me before he turned around and went back inside.

No hug, no kiss, not even the brush of his hand against mine.

I left for Mystic Fall's untouched by the one I loved.

Once I was in my car, my phone biped and I saw that it was Alice already, she had written:

"I don't know how but your life is about to change Bella. For Better or for worst, I don't know, but it's at a crossroad."

"Thanks, stop worrying." I replied with a smile.

* * *

 _ **What did you think?  
As I told you at the beginning of the story, this will be followed by a second one-shot that will be named Unbroken and will be published in the crossover section. To be sure and know when it's online follow me. :-)**_

 _ **Please review and tell me what you though of it and what you think will happen in the second one shot.**_

 _ **Just so you know, Bella WILL come back to Forks, I just don't know yet if it'll be permanent or not.**_

 _ **Lorelei Candice Black**_


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